I haven't had any need to post anything recently. I guess life has fallen into a pretty standard flow over the last few months but a lot has happened in the last couple of weeks and here is the story...


I needed to get this off of my mind though... because all this stress is making me lose hair... and it can't be caused by testosterone because I don't have much if any of that shit left..

*sigh*

--Slightly Scattered Thoughts--

After going through Salt Lake to get damage from a tire repaired and an annual inspection done on the truck we got a load home. It ran us through Billings, MT first but it did get us home. It was nice to get some time at home even though we are going to be back in less than 2 weeks.

S' side started hurting the other day, she went to the doctor and they couldn't figure out what was wrong so they sent her to get an ultrasound. No it isn't a baby but she did find out that she had some underlying problems that she didn't know about. She is going to have to go to another doctor when we come home on the 30th to find out what she can do about the problem... Ya.. I know I am being vague but really nobody reads this anyways and I am more or less just cataloging my thoughts right now.

Our company is going down the tubes. They have had nearly 400 accidents in the last year. Spent an astronomical amount because of those accidents and because of financial problems along with the fact they are going to have to be out by the next winter anyway they shut down one of the terminals. Not good. They went in one friday and canned all but 5 people who they told they could keep their jobs as long as they moved to salt lake.

Last time our company was going through troubles (not technically the same company) if a driver got routed though a terminal and there was no apparent reason to be routed though the driver was going to be canned. If that starts happening again S and I need to start looking for another job.

So coming home always gives me the depressing reminder that I can't play the game that I enjoy to devote hours on end to. Sure I can play it when I come home but 4 days out of a month? It makes it seem so pointless to play because I can't progress and not being able to progress at least one of my characters makes me a really sad panda.

Well, Easter is almost here (who gives a shit. all it is is a pagan festival), and my grandmother came down from Great Falls. Yet another person that doesn't know that I am T, and I have no reason to tell the loony... *sigh* No reason to tell her until I am almost ready to go full time and about the time I start the process of changing my name. But anyways, she is here, she arrived right as S and I started the Ramparts on WoW. So I had to tell the group AFK (was the fucking priest) take off my bra (because I prefer to wear one even when I am at home) and had to make nice for 5 to 10 minutes. Well she seemed to have no interest at all in seeing me anyways pretended to give a shit that I came down and then S and I went back upstairs and continued our group. Well I went downstairs a little later and still it seemed like she had no interest in seeing me. Honestly I am getting to the point where I hope she disowns me when I come out to the family.

Oh on the point of Warcraft... *wants Frostmourne* If you don't play the game and you don't know the lore then it probably means nothing to you, but I really want one and I think I am going to save up for one.

--End of my scattered thoughts for the day--

mmm... scattered... I want Waffle House...

Well... I finally did it.. it was a couple of weeks ago but I finally told Lance. We were like brothers in high school... and people thought as much too. I met Lance after he transferred in from another state... I believe it was Arizona. He was in my honors world history class and we hit it off immediately. In general, I am not the most outgoing person, but I usually can read people really well and with Lance there was just really good chemistry. He is like alpha geek supreme, pretty open minded, and was usually there for me.

We were friend during most of high school but after high school I moved away from my beloved southern Cali and moved to northern Idaho. I was essentially forced to go to Idaho because my parents decided to sell their house in Cali and in a months time they had a buyer and had to be out of the house. Well, I didn't have a job or a car or a place to stay so I had to go to Idaho, and I am still very bitter about being moved to Idaho. I kind of lost contact with most of my friends... just got distant. But last year I tried back in contact with people, including Lancer.

It was kind of awkward to do... you know it changes what I am in his eyes I'm sure.. He says I am always going to be the sniping bastard to him and that it won't change anything and I really hope that is the case because it would really hurt to lose Lance. Of my friends... he is by far the most important to me.

Yet again... It just seems like we don't ever get enough time off... and probably tomorrow we will be going back to work, and I am less than thrilled about said return... Why? Because it is going to be another 20+ days before we get our next home time, and when we are out... time for fun ... there isn't such a thing. All we tend to do is when one person drives the other sleeps... we stop for food once or twice a day, but in general we are always moving.

We talked to our dispatcher and requested to be given loads that run us in the western 11 states. On the company site it says that this kind of regional driving would get us home every 7 to 10 days but I don't think that is going to be the case. I think it is going to be the same old sh.. stuff... Have to be out 28 days take 4 days off... and being out that long really starts to wear on me, my emotions, my patience, everything... I didn't mind being out for that long originally.. but it is so hard to go out... sleep in a moving truck... have minimal internet capabilities... shower at at a different place every time... not have my nice soft comfy bed... the list, it never ends...

So! We are in Grandview, WA. We have a load of rolls that we were supposed to deliver at a Walmart Distribution Center. Our load which we picked up in SL, UT yesterday was supposed to deliver today at 0300 today. We got to the delivery location today an hour early. We bring our bills into security and they can't find our purchase order. We give them another number and the can find that one! well... it is linked to a po# that is nearly the same as our... except for one number... and Walmart is AR when it comes to POs. So we can't deliver. We get ahold of our dispatch and we are told that we are going to have to wait until Customer Service comes in... that is going to be 2 hours... so we crashed out... We wake up 2 hours later and get ahold of customer service and our dispatcher. We get a message from CS saying that they got ahold of WalMart and that everything was fine they just sent us the wrong location... We were at the right location. So we go back to security and give them the info again... and we get the same information... PO and our bills don't match... So we get back with dispatch... and tell them what is going on... and nothing is getting done... We are supposed to be home by now, and I am getting impatient. I am so tired of being out at this point. I want to go home. We are supposed to get a hold of walmart at noon to find out if they can get us worked in. Let's hope.